Question your culture
Question your thoughts & behavior
Your opinions, beliefs, and habits
Question if this is truly who you are
Or what you were taught by others
Life is too short to live it blindly
Not questioning what we have been told
Question everything, including yourself
Is this what I truly believe from logical evidence?
Or is it driven by greed, hatred, or fear?
I won’t change you
I won’t judge you
I won’t argue with you
I’ll stay in my own lane
For life is too short for me to focus my energy on others
Telling them what they should or shouldn’t do
My work will be to accept all as they are
For I’m no god nor tyrant
No dictator or ruler
My path is mine to walk
No one can walk it for me
And I can not force you to change
Grow & change in your own time
Who am I to judge?
I have plenty to work on
Much growth to be had
Any energy spent on you would be wasted
For my life is my message
If others follow
If they don’t
That’s fine too!
I’ll stay in my own lane
Divinity is found
Within you and I
But also ego
All humans have this battle within
Dark & light
Devil & angel
Ego & divine
Grow the divine fertile seeds with love & compassion
Acknowledge the ego
Bow to it
Feed it carefully
Feed it with understanding
Care for the darker side
For in caring for the dark we grow the light
The darkest moments of my life led to the most transformation. The darkness brings self-reflection, awareness, and focus. This is only if we do not numb the pain with alcohol, drugs, and/or overeating. When a family member suddenly dies or a relationship ends, we can have moments of pure awareness and clarity on what led to this moment in time.
My first experience with this transformation was when I was honest with my ex-fiance about my infidelity. She left me the following day. At first, I numbed myself with distraction but when her parents moved all her stuff out of our studio I was forced to sit in a dark & empty apartment. My first reaction was to run away and move to a new place. Luckily I chose to stay in my empty studio. The following weeks I cried every night in sorrow. Pain, suffering, and anxiety filled each moment until one day I picked up a book called “Buddhist Bootcamp” by Timber Hawkeye. Suddenly I was meditated 1 hour a day, reading, writing, eating healthier, and working out every day. I quit smoking and significantly cut down on drinking alcohol. My days were now filled with joy instead of sorrow. This all took place from March-May 2015 in San Luis Obispo, CA. Since then I have fallen back into old habits, relearn lessons, and also had new transformations from suffering. I began a journey of self-love, peace, forgiveness, and acceptance; a journey I am currently still on (and always will be). There is no destination on this path, only the love of the journey itself.
The famous Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says “No Mud, No Lotus”. The beautiful lotus flower grows in the darkest and muddiest environments; I truly believe humans are much the same as the beautiful lotus flower. The right environment for growth usual consists of awareness, compassion, and love while we are suffering. Once we learn how to suffer, we suffer much less. Suffering can actually be the most transformative process of life if we allow it to be.
Through the darkness, we can transform ourselves and become the light to see out of the darkness. We accept the darker side of ourselves (and the world) with compassion, understanding, and peace. In this practice, we feed the light while accepting the dark. This allows for peace instead of war. The key to transformation is to sit with ourselves through the pain instead of distraction or numbing the pain. The coldest winters of my life have always ended with a warm inviting spring. All is impermanent, even the darkest of times.
I can always find something wrong
Something to worry about
My mind is gifted at causing my own suffering
Untrained & disobedient
It drifts from lane to lane
Speeding at 130mph down the highway
Out of control
Often a victim
All else is wrong
Happiness always found around the corner
Grand delusions of
Discipline, commitment, and focus
Today I can make an effort to pave this new path
If not now
When we are lost
When we hit the lowest of lows
There is always light
Light within us
Surrounding us at every moment
Let the wind dry your tears
For every storm will pass
The sun will rise once more
Bringing light into the darkness
I am not my job.
I am not my college diploma.
I am not defined by the amount of money in my bank account.
I am not my religion or lack of one.
I am not my skin color.
I am not defined by my car, clothes, or stuff.
Careers are overrated.
Stuff is just stuff.
Money is paper we give meaning to.
We are much more.
There is much wisdom found in the mountains.
Knowledge found in a flowing stream.
Follow the waves as they form & dissipate in the ocean.
Go to mother nature.
Sit, walk, & listen.
Let her heal you of your suffering.
Let the wind dry your tears.
The answers you seek will be found here.
Because you are an extension of her beauty.
There is darkness
Greed, fear & even hatred
There is light
Compassion, forgiveness & love.
I acknowledge both
For there can not be light without the dark
I vow to acknowledge the greed, fear, anger, and hatred with me
But to feed the seeds of love, compassion, and faith
To love both of them unconditionally
To acknowledge the light & darkness within myself and all
Large waves damage my ship as I navigate the path unknown.
But my anchor stays steady.
It has been with me since my first moment of life.
And will last until my final moment.
My breath is my anchor.
It will help me navigate any hard times.
Breathing in I find my balance.
Breathing out I know that all will be okay.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out gratitude.
Breathe in I know that my anchor will hold strong.