We all need friendship as human beings. Humans need some connection to other people to thrive. In today’s world of social media this can be challenging. I have struggled with finding real friendships the last 10 years of my life. I have even questioned who my real friends are in the past. Were we just drinking friends in college or was there a real connection? People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. What causes us suffering is clinging to friendship when they do not serve us anymore. If one side of the friendship makes it difficult to hangout with and constantly makes excuses then it’s not a real friendship. Even if at one point you were real friends. I travelled the east coast of Australia 2 years ago and currently live in Byron Bay, Australia. I had a great time with a group of backpackers I met along the way. This friendship was fantastic for 3 months when we were traveling but as soon as we lived in the same area things became toxic.
I tried so hard to meet up with a few of these friends but for whatever reason they made it very difficult to hangout with them. They made it a chore to be friends with them, which is not true friendship. Real friends make time (even 10 minutes), acquaintances make excuses and gaslight you to think you’re in wrong.
I’m learning to let go of people who do not want to be in my life to make room for those who actually genuinely like the man I’m becoming through my day to day recovery from my gambling addiction. I’m not the same man I was 9 months ago when I entered gamblers anonymous and started my journey to heal childhood traumas. Letting go of material goods, jobs, and even relationships (friends, family, etc) that don’t serve you anymore is crucial for a happy healthy life. Setting boundaries is important before we completely cut off people. I still have deep compassion and love for those acquaintances I have let go of, knowing that they suffer too from something they aren’t ready to work through.
With love,
Johnny
The Narrow Path 