I won’t change you
I won’t judge you
I won’t argue with you
I’ll stay in my own lane
For life is too short for me to focus my energy on others
Telling them what they should or shouldn’t do
My work will be to accept all as they are
For I’m no god nor tyrant
No dictator or ruler
My path is mine to walk
No one can walk it for me
And I can not force you to change
Grow & change in your own time
Who am I to judge?
I have plenty to work on
Much growth to be had
Any energy spent on you would be wasted
For my life is my message
If others follow
If they don’t
That’s fine too!
I’ll stay in my own lane
If you can show compassion to Hitler, Stalin, & Genghis Khan
You know true compassion
For compassion & love isn’t just for the innocent
But for those who harm other beings
Violence, judgment, & hatred will not bring peace
Only compassion will
Bring awareness that hatred lives within all human beings
If we truly want peace we must seek to understand
For love is the absence of judgment
The darkest moments of my life led to the most transformation. The darkness brings self-reflection, awareness, and focus. This is only if we do not numb the pain with alcohol, drugs, and/or overeating. When a family member suddenly dies or a relationship ends, we can have moments of pure awareness and clarity on what led to this moment in time.
My first experience with this transformation was when I was honest with my ex-fiance about my infidelity. She left me the following day. At first, I numbed myself with distraction but when her parents moved all her stuff out of our studio I was forced to sit in a dark & empty apartment. My first reaction was to run away and move to a new place. Luckily I chose to stay in my empty studio. The following weeks I cried every night in sorrow. Pain, suffering, and anxiety filled each moment until one day I picked up a book called “Buddhist Bootcamp” by Timber Hawkeye. Suddenly I was meditated 1 hour a day, reading, writing, eating healthier, and working out every day. I quit smoking and significantly cut down on drinking alcohol. My days were now filled with joy instead of sorrow. This all took place from March-May 2015 in San Luis Obispo, CA. Since then I have fallen back into old habits, relearn lessons, and also had new transformations from suffering. I began a journey of self-love, peace, forgiveness, and acceptance; a journey I am currently still on (and always will be). There is no destination on this path, only the love of the journey itself.
The famous Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says “No Mud, No Lotus”. The beautiful lotus flower grows in the darkest and muddiest environments; I truly believe humans are much the same as the beautiful lotus flower. The right environment for growth usual consists of awareness, compassion, and love while we are suffering. Once we learn how to suffer, we suffer much less. Suffering can actually be the most transformative process of life if we allow it to be.
Through the darkness, we can transform ourselves and become the light to see out of the darkness. We accept the darker side of ourselves (and the world) with compassion, understanding, and peace. In this practice, we feed the light while accepting the dark. This allows for peace instead of war. The key to transformation is to sit with ourselves through the pain instead of distraction or numbing the pain. The coldest winters of my life have always ended with a warm inviting spring. All is impermanent, even the darkest of times.
I can always find something wrong
Something to worry about
My mind is gifted at causing my own suffering
Untrained & disobedient
It drifts from lane to lane
Speeding at 130mph down the highway
Out of control
Often a victim
All else is wrong
Happiness always found around the corner
Grand delusions of
Discipline, commitment, and focus
Today I can make an effort to pave this new path
If not now
There is much wisdom found in the mountains.
Knowledge found in a flowing stream.
Follow the waves as they form & dissipate in the ocean.
Go to mother nature.
Sit, walk, & listen.
Let her heal you of your suffering.
Let the wind dry your tears.
The answers you seek will be found here.
Because you are an extension of her beauty.
Lighter fluid & matches
Ashes flutter in the darkness of the night
My fancy clothes, trinkets, and stuff melting into the nothingness of my once cluttered home
A weight has been lifted
Holding me back from living the life I was born to live
Freedom from fear
Freedom from stuff
Freedom from career aspirations
Freedom from obsessing about status, money, and power.
“What designer sofa defines me as a human being?”
“The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions.”
“It’s only when we lost everything, that we are free to do anything.”
There are many forks in the road.
Left or right?
Indecision paralyzes me.
Fear fills my mind.
My mind racing in circles.
Anxiety filling each moment.
Who knows where each path will go?
Maybe I could let go of this fear.
And pick up love.
Embrace the adventure that life truly is.
Curiosity can fill the space where anxiety once was.
All will work out on the path unknown.