Breaking Free of Status.

I have worked many jobs

None defined me

I have been a dishwasher

Yet managed corporate accounts

I have cleaned toilets

Yet managed a sales territory

I have taken out many of trashes

Yet have a college degree

Money & status do not define who we are

Our salary, benefits or lack of do not determine our self worth

Unless we allow them too

Ranking ourself & others by salary

Worrying constantly about how we portray ourself to others

Let’s break free today

The mental suffering of what others think of us isn’t worth it

F#ck it!

Stress at work

Stress at home

Fuck it

I care too much what others think

I care too much what other do

Fuck it

I think about my past and I’m sad

I think about my future and I get anxious

Fuck it

Life is too short to worry about every little detail

To worry about being perfect at work

To stress over the unknown future

Fuck it!!

Feel the liberation of not giving a shit about what others think of you

Let that huge grin shine into the darkness of worry, stress, and anxiety over what everyone else is thinking & doing

Love is what truly matters

Horizon.

As I stare off into the horizon

I reflect on my life

The man I have become

In 29 years, I have come so far

Yet old unskillful habits persist

Holding me back from living the life I truly want to live

My breathe brings me back into this moment

In this moment I can change my life

I can begin the process of letting go of what’s holding me back

So I can acquire the life I want to live

Waves.

A wave breaks at the shore.

Never to be seen again.

One wave allows room for the next.

It accepts its impermanence.

It allows for its transformation.

 

The wave is both impermanent & infinite.

Each drop of water is interconnected.

Within the vastness of the ocean.

So are you. 

Path Unknown.

In front of you is a dense forest. Alone your mind wanders of what lies ahead. The path will be treacherous at times. Will you survive what lies ahead?

Dark clouds lurk above.

Fear, worry, & doubt in every step.

Will I survive the path unknown?

 

I could just stay in the cozy open field.

Take the easy route.

Ride out my one life in a security blanket.

Imprisoned by doubt.

 

Step into the lush forest.

Embrace the path unknown.

 

 

 

 

 

Fear, Worry, & Doubt.

Fear.

Worry.

Doubt.

 

My three familiar friends.

Keeping me from my passions.

My mission & purpose.

 

Goodbye, my old friends.

Today, I will let you go.

For I only have one life and I intend to live it.

 

I hear a knock on my door!

 

Three new friends have arrived.

Love.

Trust.

Faith.

 

 

They even brought gifts.

Love brought joy.

Trust brought excitement.

Faith brought freedom.

 

Thank you, my new friends.

I look forward to our new journey together.

 

 

Welcome To Heartbreak.

I cried.

I begged.

I promised I would change.

I poured my heart out.

I suffered alone.

 

How could you not want me back?

Why can’t you forgive me?

How could you be so cold?

How could you be so heartless?

 

Welcome to heartbreak.

The heartbreak of rejection.

The sadness of regret.

The pain of looking in the mirror.

Self-hatred.

Anxious days.

Depressed nights.

 

Through the pain, I learned how to be the lotus flower.

For the lotus flower grows in muddy waters.

 

Through suffering comes joy.

Through suffering comes peace.

Through suffering comes transformation.

No mud, no lotus.

 

My heart is now filled with gratitude.

Thank you for letting me suffer and grow.

Thank you for letting me go three years ago.

Thank you, Alicia.

Hope all is well.

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

Backstory: 3 years ago in Feb 2015 my life changed forever. I finally told my fiance that I cheated on her. She left me that day. I felt heartbroken, fearful, and anxious. I had to sit with myself. Sit with the anxiety, pain, and loneliness. Sit with the self-hatred. Through that suffering I found a new way of life. A one of meditation, mindfulness, and joy. 

no-mud-no-lotus.jpg

 

 

(Main photo: Kanye West, 808’s & Heartbreaks)