God of my understanding
Use me as your instrument of love
Where there is violence
May I practice peace
Where there is apathy
Compassion
Where there is doubt
Faith
Thank you for the gift of life
To show gratitude
I will practice compassion, love, forgiveness and grace to the best of my abilities
With aloha,
Johnny
For too long we have ignored our suffering
For too long we have abused our suffering
Through this endless cycle of neglect & abuse
Our suffering grows stronger
Our addictions become more intense
The pain deep in our heart is calling out for us
It needs compassion
It needs the healing nature of forgiveness
The darkest parts of us need the tender care of loving kindness in order to transform
When we learn how to suffer
We suffer much less
So go home to your suffering
Do not ignore or abuse the hurt parts
Show compassion, love and forgiveness to them
With aloha,
Johnny
Each day I surrender
Each day I admit defeat
In surrendering, I’m liberated
In admitting defeat, I’m free
Liberated from the obsession
Free from the mental slavery of addiction
Suffering has great wisdom
Suffering has hidden gems under the chaotic surface
Suffering & joy are two sides of the same coin
Left & right
Up & down
Suffering & joy
We cannot have one without the other
So smile at your inner most suffering
Sit with it with curiosity & compassion
The gifts of suffering will be found in this space of openness & self love
If we run from it or suppress our suffering, it will persist till our last breath
If we try to suppress our suffering through substances, we suppress our joy as well
So go home to your deepest pain
It has many lessons
It can be transformed to boundless joy & serenity if we learn the art of suffering
With aloha
Johnny
If we look deeply at a flower
We see there isn’t truly a flower
A flower is made of non flower material
A flower is made of water, soil, nutrients & sunlight
You and I are the same
If we can touch the true reality of things
We see that everything is connected
I am not made of human materials
I am made of water which came from the clouds & rivers
I am made of materials like iron, calcium, zinc
Which were created many billions of years ago in a dying star
I am made of the sun, water & soil
Our life is impermanent on this earth but our matter is infinite
It can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed
If we can touch this true reality, our suffering will vanish in this moment
With aloha,
Johnny
You have always been there for me
When I was lonely
When I was bored
When I was in pain
Relieving me of stress
Allowing me to focus
Stimulated my mind
Thank you for your attempts to distract me from my suffering
But I have to let you go
The momentary relief you give me leads to more suffering in the end
You will always be part of my story but it’s time to turn the page
It’s time to start a new chapter of self love & service to others
It’s a long road to recovery but it’s a worthwhile journey
The alternative is self destruction
With aloha,
Johnny
Fill the hole in my heart
Fill the deep gap within my soul
Take away the discomfort
Numb me to my suffering
Distract me
Comfort me
I don’t want to feel anymore
Consumption of drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or junk food seems to be the solution to our pain
Temporarily they are good numbing agents, that’s what hooks us in; especially when we first try them at an early age
But in the end it causes more suffering & new financial & health problems
Like quick sand we can fall deeper & deeper into the depths of addiction
With aloha
Johnny
In Buddhist philosophy; attachment, aversion, and ignorance are the three main obstacles from achieving inner peace within. They are the three poisons of true happiness.
Attachment is said to be the root of all suffering.
Attachment to wealth, youth, ideology, the past, loved ones, life itself etc can drain us and make us miserable. Think of a middle aged woman attached to her youth. You can imagine her worrying about every wrinkle and what others perceive of her. By not accepting ones aging process, we suffer deeply.
Aversion on the other hand drains us of our joy by judgment, anger, or disgust. For example, an aversion to bugs can ruin our time in nature. An aversion to homeless people can stop us from having compassion for them; compassion and understanding can be the root of much joy.
Ignorance can blind us too. When we purposely or unintentionally don’t see information about a topic, we can make decisions that destroy our health and happiness. Cigarettes are a good example of this, most of the population were ignorant for many years of the risk of cancer and heart disease of smoking.
So instead of seeking pleasure or trying to find happiness, could we try to find a middle path between attachment, aversion, or ignorance? Can we learn about a topic so we are not ignorant but also not getting attached or averse to it? Blissful peace is found in the middle of this triangle.
I think it’s possible if we practice. Never think you know everything and the opposite of what you believe is true to someone else in the world.
Zen mind, beginners mind
With aloha,
Johnny
Any path that isn’t for the betterment of others is not worth taking
Even if we find our spiritual path though Buddhism, Hinduism , Christianity, yoga, or transcendental meditation
Our practice is still driven by ego if the sole intention is to better ourselves
We must take what we learn on the yoga mat, church, mosque, or meditation cushion, roll up our sleeves and help others in our daily lives
Don’t discount even the smallest acts
Even a smile or a kind word to a stranger can significantly help others
Choose compassion over apathy
Love over fear
Curiosity instead of judgment
With aloha,
Johnny
I have walked the path of self destruction many times in my adult life
Seeking pleasure to avoid the pain
To distract myself from feeling lonely, bored, or uncomfortable
The addiction only temporarily fixed the problem
Whether that be drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex
Soon you become numb to it’s effects & you seek more of a rush & upping your dose
Not realizing the self destruction happening within your mind, body, and soul
Until one day (hopefully) you feel the pain so deeply that you decide to attempt recovery
It can take a lifetime of effort but anything worth doing in life does
I vow to never give up on myself & to keep trying
With aloha,
Johnny
The Narrow Path 