Darkness, Transformation, and Redemption.

The darkest moments of my life led to the most transformation. The darkness brings self-reflection, awareness, and focus.  This is only if we do not numb the pain with alcohol, drugs, and/or overeating. When a family member suddenly dies or a relationship ends, we can have moments of pure awareness and clarity on what led to this moment in time.

My first experience with this transformation was when I was honest with my ex-fiance about my infidelity. She left me the following day. At first, I numbed myself with distraction but when her parents moved all her stuff out of our studio I was forced to sit in a dark & empty apartment. My first reaction was to run away and move to a new place. Luckily I chose to stay in my empty studio. The following weeks I cried every night in sorrow. Pain, suffering, and anxiety filled each moment until one day I picked up a book called “Buddhist Bootcamp” by Timber Hawkeye. Suddenly I was meditated 1 hour a day, reading, writing, eating healthier, and working out every day. I quit smoking and significantly cut down on drinking alcohol. My days were now filled with joy instead of sorrow. This all took place from March-May 2015 in San Luis Obispo, CA. Since then I have fallen back into old habits, relearn lessons, and also had new transformations from suffering. I began a journey of self-love, peace, forgiveness, and acceptance; a journey I am currently still on (and always will be). There is no destination on this path, only the love of the journey itself.

The famous Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says “No Mud, No Lotus”. The beautiful lotus flower grows in the darkest and muddiest environments; I truly believe humans are much the same as the beautiful lotus flower. The right environment for growth usual consists of awareness, compassion, and love while we are suffering. Once we learn how to suffer, we suffer much less. Suffering can actually be the most transformative process of life if we allow it to be.

Through the darkness, we can transform ourselves and become the light to see out of the darkness. We accept the darker side of ourselves (and the world) with compassion, understanding, and peace. In this practice, we feed the light while accepting the dark. This allows for peace instead of war. The key to transformation is to sit with ourselves through the pain instead of distraction or numbing the pain. The coldest winters of my life have always ended with a warm inviting spring. All is impermanent, even the darkest of times.

 

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

May I.

May I show compassion

To even those who harm others

May I always seek peace

When others choose violence

May I be grateful

Even when life gets tough

May I seek forgiveness

Knowing its a gift to myself

May I choose love

When fear crosses my mind

May I choose freedom

Over security

May I always seek to understand others

Not judge

May I be in this present moment

Even when my mind drifts to the past or future

 

Non-Judgment Day.

Who am I to judge?

Deciding what others should or shouldn’t do?

I am no God or ruler.

Today I will begin the process of letting go of judgment.

For I too have fallen short.

I will allow love to fill the space where judgment once was.

To work to understand those I disagree with.

To understand that people change in their own time.

First I will begin the journey of letting go of self judgment.

Non judgment day has arrived.

Through the Darkness, We Shall Rise.

Through the darkness, we shall rise

Rise like the sun

Bringing light into the darkness

For we are all holy men & women

Lost in the sea of fear

We have forgotten our true nature

Of compassion & love

We are disoriented by distraction

Haunted by our past

Paralyzed by the path unknown ahead of us

We cling to material wealth & status

Fearful to take risks for the true life we desire

So how do we begin this journey?

Don’t worry

The answer lies within you

Good luck

 

 

All Will End.

All will end

All will be okay

 

The sun will rise

The sun will set

 

Suffering will come

Suffering will go

 

Joy comes

Joy goes

 

Relationships come

Then end

 

For life is short

Yet infinite

 

Endings

Brings new beginnings

 

Death brings life

Life brings death

 

My life too will end

Bringing new life

 

All will end

All will be okay

Peaceful Warriors

Peace

Violence

Live within all of us

Feed the peace

Acknowledge the violence

Shed light into it

For peace grows with peace

Water the seed of peace

With compassion & understanding

Love the dark side

Show it loving kindness

Join me if you chose

In the army of love

Soldiers of peace

Compassion & understanding

As our weapons

We are peaceful warriors

Sheding light into the darkness