Divinity is found
Within you and I
But also ego
All humans have this battle within
Dark & light
Devil & angel
Ego & divine
Grow the divine fertile seeds with love & compassion
Acknowledge the ego
Bow to it
Feed it carefully
Feed it with understanding
Care for the darker side
For in caring for the dark we grow the light
The darkest moments of my life led to the most transformation. The darkness brings self-reflection, awareness, and focus. This is only if we do not numb the pain with alcohol, drugs, and/or overeating. When a family member suddenly dies or a relationship ends, we can have moments of pure awareness and clarity on what led to this moment in time.
My first experience with this transformation was when I was honest with my ex-fiance about my infidelity. She left me the following day. At first, I numbed myself with distraction but when her parents moved all her stuff out of our studio I was forced to sit in a dark & empty apartment. My first reaction was to run away and move to a new place. Luckily I chose to stay in my empty studio. The following weeks I cried every night in sorrow. Pain, suffering, and anxiety filled each moment until one day I picked up a book called “Buddhist Bootcamp” by Timber Hawkeye. Suddenly I was meditated 1 hour a day, reading, writing, eating healthier, and working out every day. I quit smoking and significantly cut down on drinking alcohol. My days were now filled with joy instead of sorrow. This all took place from March-May 2015 in San Luis Obispo, CA. Since then I have fallen back into old habits, relearn lessons, and also had new transformations from suffering. I began a journey of self-love, peace, forgiveness, and acceptance; a journey I am currently still on (and always will be). There is no destination on this path, only the love of the journey itself.
The famous Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says “No Mud, No Lotus”. The beautiful lotus flower grows in the darkest and muddiest environments; I truly believe humans are much the same as the beautiful lotus flower. The right environment for growth usual consists of awareness, compassion, and love while we are suffering. Once we learn how to suffer, we suffer much less. Suffering can actually be the most transformative process of life if we allow it to be.
Through the darkness, we can transform ourselves and become the light to see out of the darkness. We accept the darker side of ourselves (and the world) with compassion, understanding, and peace. In this practice, we feed the light while accepting the dark. This allows for peace instead of war. The key to transformation is to sit with ourselves through the pain instead of distraction or numbing the pain. The coldest winters of my life have always ended with a warm inviting spring. All is impermanent, even the darkest of times.
When we are lost
When we hit the lowest of lows
There is always light
Light within us
Surrounding us at every moment
Let the wind dry your tears
For every storm will pass
The sun will rise once more
Bringing light into the darkness
There is darkness
Greed, fear & even hatred
There is light
Compassion, forgiveness & love.
I acknowledge both
For there can not be light without the dark
I vow to acknowledge the greed, fear, anger, and hatred with me
But to feed the seeds of love, compassion, and faith
To love both of them unconditionally
To acknowledge the light & darkness within myself and all
Through the darkness, we shall rise
Rise like the sun
Bringing light into the darkness
For we are all holy men & women
Lost in the sea of fear
We have forgotten our true nature
Of compassion & love
We are disoriented by distraction
Haunted by our past
Paralyzed by the path unknown ahead of us
We cling to material wealth & status
Fearful to take risks for the true life we desire
So how do we begin this journey?
The answer lies within you
The darkness surrounds me.
Fear consuming every thought.
Anger pulsating through every cell.
Hatred burning into my soul.
Greed filling up my mind.
Do I resist the darkness?
Do I suppress these dark emotions?
I will accept the darkness.
I will honor the greed, anger, hatred, and fear inside me as part of who I am.
But I vow to shine light into the darkness of my soul.
The light of love.
The light of kindness.
The light of compassion.
The light of forgiveness.
I will show the darkness another way.