Category: addiction

The Void Within

Fill the hole in my heart

Fill the deep gap within my soul

Take away the discomfort

Numb me to my suffering

Distract me

Comfort me

I don’t want to feel anymore

Consumption of drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or junk food seems to be the solution to our pain

Temporarily they are good numbing agents, that’s what hooks us in; especially when we first try them at an early age

But in the end it causes more suffering & new financial & health problems

Like quick sand we can fall deeper & deeper into the depths of addiction

With aloha

Johnny

No Bad Parts

I have looked deep inside

Into my angry

Into my addictions & impulses

Into the darkest parts of me

What I saw was profound

These parts formed to protect me from loneliness, pain, and despair

They didn’t realize how much destruction they would cause in the long run

There are truly no bad parts of me

Or any of us

Even the darkest parts have their origin stories

Forged in trauma from childhood & early adulthood

The only way to heal them is to first acknowledge them

To love them, show compassion to them, and take care of them like a loving parent to a child

Check out the Internal Family System from Richard Schwartz & his book “No Bad Parts”.

With aloha,

Johnny

The Path of Self Destruction

I have walked the path of self destruction many times in my adult life

Seeking pleasure to avoid the pain

To distract myself from feeling lonely, bored, or uncomfortable

The addiction only temporarily fixed the problem

Whether that be drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex

Soon you become numb to it’s effects & you seek more of a rush & upping your dose

Not realizing the self destruction happening within your mind, body, and soul

Until one day (hopefully) you feel the pain so deeply that you decide to attempt recovery

It can take a lifetime of effort but anything worth doing in life does

I vow to never give up on myself & to keep trying

With aloha,

Johnny

I Have a Gambling Addiction

One of the fastest growing addictions in the world is gambling addiction

With more availability than ever, more people are going through challenging circumstances because of this addiction

Many lose their house, job, and family

Some even lose their life to this addiction

1 in 4 attempt suicide, the most out of any addiction

Losing money from gambling is tough to deal with but nothing compares to the guilt, shame, and regret that haunts you

I’m 3 weeks sober right now

I’m determined not to gamble

I have lost 50k in my lifetime but also have put untold stress and anxiety on myself because of this addiction

My life purpose is on the line

True freedom is not the freedom to self destruct

But to be free of our addictions running and ruining our life

With aloha,

Johnny

Outdated Identity

We spend our life building our identity.

From a very early age; the music, tv, & friend group shape our identity. What we consume, becomes part of us.

But we often struggle with letting go of this identity, even when this identity is responsible for the destruction of our own joy.

We fear that if we let go of this outdated idea of who we are that we lose ourself in the process.

But the truth is that old identity was never truly us.
It was shaped by our family, culture, religion and media

So who do we truly want to become?
Do we want to self destruct our own lives clinging to the past?
Or do we want to liberate ourself & embrace a new life that is inline with our values & vision?
The first step is to release that you are worth taking care of.
Your life & happiness does matter.

The chose is ours, even minute of each day.
We can always change at any moment
Even the smallest shifts can snowball into a radically different life.

If not now, then when?

With aloha,

Johnny

Deep Compassion to Ourself

When I child suffers, he or she cries a lot. They are hurt and in pain. A mother can transform their child’s suffering into tears of joy by listening and showing loving compassion to their child. Soon the child is smiling and joyful. I have seen this and experienced in real time.

You can do the same with your most inner child. Showing deep compassion to the hurt, misunderstood, and anxious parts of ourself. This is the practice of healing ourselves and the world. This is a way to transform suffering into joy in our own body and mind. 🙏🏻

Namaste,

Johnny

Dreams

Here I lay

Listening to the soft voice of a yin yoga teacher

In a deep meditation

An American backpacker in a distant land

Byron Bay is the perfect place for those who are searching for self knowledge

A place to heal emotional wounds.

So here I lay in a dark yoga studio

Suddenly tears come down my cheeks

My inner Buddha speaking clearly without the distractions interfering

If I don’t let go of gambling

I let go of my dreams

I let go of my happiness & freedom

My life will read as a tragedy if I don’t change my ways

I’m 6 weeks sober from gambling

Turning my life around 1 day at a time

With aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

All Will Be Okay.

When we are lost

When we hit the lowest of lows

There is always light

Light within us

Surrounding us at every moment

 

Let the wind dry your tears

For every storm will pass

The sun will rise once more

Bringing light into the darkness

Self-Worth.

Views, likes, and followers

The new currency of self-worth.

 

How many followers does a person need to feel important?

How many likes do you need until you feel complete?

How many views till you’re content with your life?

Will you ever be satisfied?

 

Let go of the constant need for outside validation.

Let go of the obsession with likes, followers, and views.

 

Embrace your mission.

Embrace your purpose.

Your life is much more important the number of followers you have.

Quality over quantity.