Category: freedom

Bon Voyage Young Pascal!

Bon Voyage Young Pascal!

Good luck on your journey!

 

The sea is calm.

But not your mind.

Anticipation gleaming from your eyes.

Butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

 

What wonders lie ahead?

What dangers will you have to overcome?

 

True strength comes from adversity.

True love from pain.

Keep going.

 

Even if you drown in the deep darkness of the sea.

You will have lived.

Lived with every breath.

Every beat of your heart.

 

With risk, comes reward.

With letting go, comes freedom.

 

Bon Voyage Young Pascal.

Into the great unknown.

The Life of Pascal.

A crew of explorers gather for drinks, food, and fun. Their voyage begins tomorrow to the great unknown. There is excitement in their eyes. Anticipation in their hearts. What wonders lie ahead of them? Tonight the men will dance, laugh, and drink around the fire. Who knows if they will return to shore. Nature is fearsome and apathetic to any of their sufferings. Will they have the strength to face their greatest fears?

The sun is shining at the Port of Marseilles. Seagulls float patiently in the sky above. The crew merrily pack their bags for the long voyage. The crew carries large bags of oats, rye, and potatoes on board the ship “Inconnu”. It’s a warm spring day in the south of France. The Captain of “Inconnu” is Pascal Dubois. He’s a young Captain at only 28 years old, born in Marseille to a peasant family. Some of the crew are wary of his youth while others confident. Young Pascal is quite experienced for his age, thanks to his many voyages into the Mediterranean and Black Sea. He has dealt with death, heartbreak, and disease over the past 10 years as a crewman. He has fought many battles versus Berber pirates along the southern coast of France. Pascal is on a mission of peace, exploration, and discovery. Optimism gleams from his youthful face even though he has some fear of the voyage into the great unknown of the Atlantic Ocean. Many have taken this voyage but not many come back to tell their tales. Pascal and his crew know the risk they are taking. Pascal’s passions are writing, exploration, and helping others. He would travel the world for free. The crew’s motivations vary. Some dream of new beginnings. Others searching for lost treasure and glory. They all dream of new lands, people, and experiences. Tales of Marco Polo’s adventures painted into their every thought.

Will this be their last breath on land? Will they sink into the darkness of the sea? Time will tell. Pascal’s focus is on this precious moment. He will not succumb to his minds tendency to fear the unknown or be scared by stories of the past. Pascal knows that his crew will only survive if he is mindful of the now. To not be distracted by the obstacles. Pascal vows to enjoy each moment of this voyage and to be grateful for every new adventure.

 

Every Monday afternoon I will post one new poem or short story. There will be more blog posts about the life and adventures of Pascal. 

Fear, Worry, & Doubt.

Fear.

Worry.

Doubt.

 

My three familiar friends.

Keeping me from my passions.

My mission & purpose.

 

Goodbye, my old friends.

Today, I will let you go.

For I only have one life and I intend to live it.

 

I hear a knock on my door!

 

Three new friends have arrived.

Love.

Trust.

Faith.

 

 

They even brought gifts.

Love brought joy.

Trust brought excitement.

Faith brought freedom.

 

Thank you, my new friends.

I look forward to our new journey together.

 

 

Peace is the Way.

When my opponent shows hatred, I will show love.

When my opponent shows apathy, I will show compassion.

When my opponent shows fear, I will show confidence.

When my opponent shows aggression, I will show peace.

When my opponent is attached, I will let go.

 

They are not my true opponent.

My true opponent is within.

Within my fear.

My judgments.

My limiting beliefs.

My attachments.

 

I vow to look at my opponent with full-hearted compassion.

I vow to forgive my opponent.

I vow to show them another way.

The way of peace.

o-PEACE-570

 

Welcome To Heartbreak.

I cried.

I begged.

I promised I would change.

I poured my heart out.

I suffered alone.

 

How could you not want me back?

Why can’t you forgive me?

How could you be so cold?

How could you be so heartless?

 

Welcome to heartbreak.

The heartbreak of rejection.

The sadness of regret.

The pain of looking in the mirror.

Self-hatred.

Anxious days.

Depressed nights.

 

Through the pain, I learned how to be the lotus flower.

For the lotus flower grows in muddy waters.

 

Through suffering comes joy.

Through suffering comes peace.

Through suffering comes transformation.

No mud, no lotus.

 

My heart is now filled with gratitude.

Thank you for letting me suffer and grow.

Thank you for letting me go three years ago.

Thank you, Alicia.

Hope all is well.

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

Backstory: 3 years ago in Feb 2015 my life changed forever. I finally told my fiance that I cheated on her. She left me that day. I felt heartbroken, fearful, and anxious. I had to sit with myself. Sit with the anxiety, pain, and loneliness. Sit with the self-hatred. Through that suffering I found a new way of life. A one of meditation, mindfulness, and joy. 

no-mud-no-lotus.jpg

 

 

(Main photo: Kanye West, 808’s & Heartbreaks)

 

 

Happiness is an Inside Job.

Happiness is something to become, not to acquire.

I used to think happiness was something to achieve or acquire. I would think “once I get that promotion, lose weight or graduate from college I will achieve happiness”. I achieved all of these things and found out that I was still unhappy with my life. Happiness was always around the next corner. The next promotion, weight loss, or achievement. Sure, I was very happy the month after I graduated from college, lost weight, and got a promotion within my corporate job on the mainland. This happiness was very short-lived because I wasn’t content with who I was as a person. I was holding onto years of emotional baggage, insecurities, fears, and stories of the past. Stories that only spoke of half-truths, more focused on the negative than the positive. I have learned in the last year that happiness is not something to achieve but something to become through our actions in the world. Happiness is getting out of your comfort zone. Long lasting happiness for me is living in line with my core values instead of what feels good or is more comfortable at the moment. True contentment for me is spending more time on what I’m truly passionate about and less time focused on wealth and status. Through living in line with my values, I have felt more joy than I have ever thought was possible.

Happiness is always an inside job. Your job, relationships, money, and material goods are just “icing on the cake!”. You want to make your cake(life) as delicious(happy) just the way it is. No amount of material goods, fast food, drugs, alcohol, or sex will bring long-lasting peace. These are just fillers that mask true happiness and leave us craving more and more until we feel sick inside.

This lesson was truly learned when I moved to Maui last year. I thought going to beach, hiking, and living on Maui would make my life cherry (Local slang for good). I was still not happy and I couldn’t figure why! I had to look myself in the mirror and slowly start to live in line with my values. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing great comes out of being comfortable all the time. By inquiring within, I have shown compassion, forgiveness, and love to myself. By letting go of what was causing me mental stress, I have become more peaceful.

I suggest writing down your core values on a piece of paper or word document. Next, write down what you do all day and cross-reference your values with your actions. You choose your values and you choose to live in line with them. No one is forcing you to live more intentionally other than yourself! Here are my core values and what I let go of(or added) to live inline with my values

Peace- Coffee, Sales job, unlimited data on my phone.

Compassion-Meat, dairy, eggs, and plastic water bottles.

Love- Self-hatred, and judgments.

Contribution-Started a charity:water campaign(https://my.charitywater.org/jonathan-hoffman-1/clean-water-for-all)

Health-Cigarettes, alcohol, processed foods, oils.

I don’t feel deprived at all! I drink green tea, kombucha, and eat healthy anti-oxidant rich plant foods! These are just trade-offs for a more peaceful, healthy, and happy life for myself. Everyone’s journey is different, there are no right or wrong paths but only different ones!

What are you willing to let go of to be at peace? Choose love over fear and you will find that you will be living a life you love instead of a life you fear.

Inquire within.

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman

 

The Path of the Peaceful Warrior.

The path of the peaceful warrior is one of infinite strength. The human heart has an infinite amount of compassion. The Art of Peace is a direct response to the Art of War. If we believe war is always inevitable then there will always be war. The Art of Peace allows the opportunity for another path. The path of peace.

Sadly, we mistake physical strength for emotional strength.

Many believe strength comes from rage, anger, and hatred. True strength comes from mercy, compassion, and love. When someone is hateful, they are in a weak state. They are tense, frightened, and fearful. When we are compassionate, we are loose and free flowing like a strong rivers current. We must show others another way. Not judge or hurt our opponent but to show pure compassion towards them as well.

The peaceful warrior trains his mind, body, and spirit. Eating a whole food plant-based diet trains all three of these. A peaceful warrior does not create more suffering into the world that is unnecessary. By being alive, we will cause suffering but we can do our best to not add more on top of this. There is true strength in showing mercy to innocent animals. We build our body strong through eating this way. It will give us the energy to strengthen our body, mind, and spirit right now and into old age. It will strengthen our muscle of compassion. It will strengthen our message of peace. How can we believe in peace and contribute to animal cruelty, torture, and suffering? This is not the way of the peaceful warrior. Our actions must be inline with peace. Peace is the way.

When my opponent shows apathy, I vow to show compassion.

When my opponent shows hatred, I vow to show love.

When my opponent shows war, I vow to show peace.

When

With Peace,

Johnny Hoffman

 

How Do I Let You Go?

 

How do I let you go?

A part of me still wants to be with you.

How can I be the best version of myself and still be with you?

You almost took my life a few times.

I could have gone to jail because of you… But you kept pulling me back.

I made huge mistakes while with you and caused suffering in the world.

Society wants me to be with you even though it’s not in the best interest of my mental, physical, and emotional health. Why is this?!

I see what you have done to others lives.

I spent thousands of dollars on you, putting me in financial stress and debt.

But damn, we had some good times together.

I made some great friendships because of you, but I know its time to let you go.

I’ll always remember you, but it’s time for me to end this show.

After 12 years of love, my attachment to you is no more.

I worked long hours for you for 7 years but I know in my heart it’s the end.

You were part of my journey to this point and I’m thankful for that.

I’m leaving you alcohol.

I know my vision now and you’re not part of it.

How can I alleviate suffering in the world and promote a healthy lifestyle while sipping a jack?

I’m leaving you and I don’t want you back.

Back story; I have been drinking for 12 years now, age 15-27. I worked in the alcohol industry for 7 years, age 20-27. I did many unskilled actions on alcohol in college and high school. 

Mahalo,

Johnny Hoffman

My Mission: To Alleviate Suffering in All Living Beings.

Aloha my brothers and sisters,

My mission is to alleviate as much suffering as I can in all living beings. It’s a lofty mission, but I’m excited to take it on as my life’s purpose. But first of all, I have to alleviate the suffering in my own life. How can I  fully help others suffer less if I can’t help myself?

It has been quite a month for me. For quite some time now I have had this lingering tension on the left side of my abdominal area which reached all the way to the left side of my jaw. I couldn’t figure out why I had this tension. At first, I was numbing it with alcohol every night which was getting out of control. The alcohol worked to alleviate the tension momentarily but the following day it would reappear. I was resisting this tension, which was causing me to suffer. A couple weeks ago, I was driving to work and the tension was almost unbearable, like a thousand tightly wound knots in my abdomen. I finally surrendered to the tension and accepted it. I did more than accept it, I showed compassion and love to it. My tension went away for 15 minutes of pure bliss and joy. I felt like I was floating in the sky or on an LSD trip. I enjoyed looking at the West Maui mountains as tears of joy went down my face. Soon though, I was back to the reality of my tension in my abdomen. Something awakened in me in that moment, I had to stop resisting pain and start accepting it for me to live a more peaceful life with less suffering. I had awoken to my mission to alleviate suffering in the world.

Fast forward two weeks. My meditation practice has been stronger than ever and I’m focusing on reducing my suffering. I eliminate alcohol and porn from my life because they both contribute to my own suffering. I also switched to a plant-based diet to help reduce suffering in myself, animals, and the planet. By changing my habits and intentionally reducing suffering in the world, I invoked suffering that was deep in my subconscious.

In my deep 30 minute meditations, I suddenly find myself reliving old memories from my childhood. All of these memories are either pure rage or rumination over unskillful actions I have done in my past (stealing, cheating, lying). Instead of judging or running from these memories, I choose to accept, love, and show compassion to myself. I imagine myself as a child, filled with rage, confusion, and fear.

Pain doesn’t decompose. Pain lives in us until we confront it with love, compassion, and forgiveness. Suppressing this pain never works.

“What you resist, will persist.” -Carl Yung

What could be more logical than showing compassion, love, and forgiveness to yourself? What could be more insane than hating, judging, and running away from yourself? Clearly, we need to hold ourselves accountable for our wrongdoings but after that is done with, we must forgive and love ourselves. As a child, I would throw temper tantrums when things didn’t go my way. I would have mental breakdowns when playing golf, basketball, or even when my favorite teams lost in the playoffs. This pain still lives on within me because I suppressed and ran away from it. I judged myself and labeled my former self as a sensitive, weak, and inferior version of myself. In my teen years, I was calm and collective for the most part because I vowed to never be that inferior self again.

Yesterday afternoon I fell apart and broke down. So many emotions running through my body. So much pain, suffering, joy, and pure bliss all mixed into one moment.  The tension was truly alleviated once I showed true compassion, love, and forgiveness to my darker side. Radical acceptance was key to ending my suffering and I believe it is key to alleviating the suffering of mankind. So many of us are hurt by old wounds that never properly healed. The people who hurt the most, hurt others. Almost all horrendous acts done by humankind are rooted in hurt individuals who look to cause suffering to others because they themselves are in so much pain.

I’m excited to share my journey to a more meaningful and peaceful life. I thank you all for reading this blog post. By reading this post, you help me live out my purpose to alleviate suffering in all living beings.

“When we learn how to suffer, we suffer much less.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

With the Aloha Spirit,

Johnny Hoffman

Resistance: The Root of Pain, Suffering, and Insanity.

We are either resisting life or accepting it.

Whether that be sitting in traffic, aging, sickness, or our own mortality. Many ignore the truth and live in an imaginary world of what life is supposed to be or should be. Anytime you say should or suppose to be, you are resisting the truth. Resistance to the truth of life causes suffering. So why do people choose resistance? Accepting the truth is scary while resisting gives us a false sense of security and control. It’s easier in the short-term to avoid or resist aging, disease, and death than accept it. In the long-term, it can cause a tremendous amount of suffering within you and the world.

Suffering = Pain x Resistance 

  • The world should be at peace, but it isn’t.
  • My parents should be supportive, but they’re not.
  • I shouldn’t be stuck in traffic, but I am.
  • Relationships aren’t supposed to be this difficult, but it is. 

Here is an example that will show you exactly what I’m talking about.

Jack and Jill are both studying for a Biology final at Harvard. Both don’t enjoy studying, it causes them both mental and physical pain to sit down for 5 hours in a room. They would rather be outside on a hike or hanging out with friends. Jill accepts that this necessary to pass the class while Jack resists and complains the whole time. Jill is at peace and actually enjoying studying, taking breaks to watch Netflix or call a friend. Jack sulks and stares at the book. They are both in the same exact situation, only Jill accepts the pain of studying and makes the best of it.

The most impressive study of acceptance vs. resistance is Victor Frankl’s story in his 1959 book Man Searching for Meaning. Victor Frankl was an Austrian Jewish neurologist, psychiatrist, and holocaust survivor. While at Auschwitz concentration camp he kept himself sane by studying fellow inmates behavior and noticed an astonishing correlation. Those prisoners who accepted their truth and found meaning were both healthier and happier than those who resisted their new life. Their suffering was caused by their resistance to life and not mere outside influences. If someone can find peace, purpose, and meaning in Auschwitz concentration camp there is hope for all of us.

But Johnny, shouldn’t we resist harmful situations?? Isn’t acceptance just giving up? I don’t want to lay down and give up!

I understand this perspective because I once believe that acceptance was giving up but nothing is further from the truth. We must accept our situation before we can make it better. The people who accepted their captivity in Auschwitz were not merely giving up but awakening to that they have no control over being prisoners in a concentration camp. What these prisoners did have control over was how they spent their time, how they perceived their circumstance, and to make the best out of it. They saw resistance as a waste of energy on what they could not control. Accepting the truth is both practical and logical for peace within.

Paradoxically, we must accept suffering before we can transcend it. We have to accept our suffering before we can be at peace with ourselves and the world. Accept that you have no control over other people’s actions and beliefs. Accept that everything is impermanent and that we can only control a small amount of our life.

Try to avoid all should or suppose to be statements. Ease your grip on life and how it’s “suppose” or “should” be. More acceptance and less resistance is key to a peaceful life with less suffering and more joy.

My mission is to alleviate suffering in all living beings.

“What we resist, will persist.” – Carl Jung

With Aloha,

Johnny Hoffman