What time is it?
I glance at my clock.
The time is now.
I must change.
I must grow.
I must let go.
Now.
Impermanence.
The constant flow of time.
A seed grows into a tree.
A baby grows into a young adult.
Dreams.
Love.
Peace.
Compassion.
Joy.
Now.
Breathing in deeply I embrace my impermanence.
Breathing out I feel joy pulsate throughout my body.
I vow to not waste my life.
I vow to live in the now.
For this is not my practice life.
A wave flows in & out.
A seagull floats above me.
A crab clings to a rock.
A sand castle withers away.
Nature’s many lessons all around me.
Consistency.
Patience.
Resilience.
Impermanence.
Nature can only guide us so far.
Be still.
Bring yourself to the now.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Observe.
Smile.
Infinite space.
Infinite time.
Infinite possibilities.
The darkness of a black hole.
The blinding light of a quasar.
A massive star becomes a supernova.
A supernova transforms into a pulsar.
Dancing light into the darkness.
Does the Universe mourn the dying star?
Or does it celebrate the supernova for giving birth to new life?
Does a star truly die?
Or can it only transform?
For I am stardust.
Born from a dying star.
Dancing into the darkness.
6 years have passed.
Today it feels like 6 seconds.
I pick up the phone.
Shock. Disbelief. Tears.
So unexpected. Tragedy.
The pain of losing a great young man too soon.
Tears.
Sadness.
Because your life gave us joy.
You taught us that life is impermanent.
You taught us gratitude for every moment alive.
You showed us that life can be taken away at any given moment.
You taught us to not take our friends for granted.
Thank you for being an amazing friend.
A second big brother to me.
I could always count on you.
Thank you, Mayur (Kumar) Sarhad.
You live on through your brother Veeral.
You live on through your parents.
You live on through your friends.
When we walk, you walk.
When we breathe, you breathe.
When we smile, you smile.
Does a cloud die when it turns into rain, ice, or snow? Or can it only transform?
Love you bro,
Johnny Hoffman
A wave hits.
The wind howls.
A shark lurks in the darkness.
The storm surrounds me.
Will I sink into the darkness?
I throw my anchor into the depths of the sea.
No wave can break me.
No wind can push me.
No shark can hurt me.
No storm will out last my anchor.
Whenever times are tough, I can bring my focus back to my anchor.
My anchor of mindful breathing.
This anchor will be with me until my last moment.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
On a dark & stormy night, a lost ship sees a lighthouse in the distance.
The sailors can barely see the light at first, for the light is blinded by dark clouds surrounding the ship. They slowly begin their journey to shore.
The lighthouse does not judge the sailors lost at sea.
The lighthouse does not force the lost ship to shore.
The lighthouse just keeps shedding its light in order for others to see out of the darkness.
Do not bend to strong winds.
Do not worry about powerful waves.
Do not sink into the ocean of darkness.
Focus your energy on making your light stronger and clearer.
The stronger the light, the better those lost will be able to see the shore.
Be confident. Be patient.
Allow them to make the long and challenging voyage to shore.
Become the lighthouse.
Become the light for others to see out of the darkness.
But first, you must acknowledge the lighthouse within your heart.
The light within your true nature.
I cried.
I begged.
I promised I would change.
I poured my heart out.
I suffered alone.
How could you not want me back?
Why can’t you forgive me?
How could you be so cold?
How could you be so heartless?
Welcome to heartbreak.
The heartbreak of rejection.
The sadness of regret.
The pain of looking in the mirror.
Self-hatred.
Anxious days.
Depressed nights.
Through the pain, I learned how to be the lotus flower.
For the lotus flower grows in muddy waters.
Through suffering comes joy.
Through suffering comes peace.
Through suffering comes transformation.
No mud, no lotus.
My heart is now filled with gratitude.
Thank you for letting me suffer and grow.
Thank you for letting me go three years ago.
Thank you, Alicia.
Hope all is well.
With Aloha,
Johnny Hoffman
Backstory: 3 years ago in Feb 2015 my life changed forever. I finally told my fiance that I cheated on her. She left me that day. I felt heartbroken, fearful, and anxious. I had to sit with myself. Sit with the anxiety, pain, and loneliness. Sit with the self-hatred. Through that suffering I found a new way of life. A one of meditation, mindfulness, and joy.
(Main photo: Kanye West, 808’s & Heartbreaks)
In Buddhism, there is the concept of Buddha Nature. Buddha Nature is a state of true compassion, peace, joy, and love for all living beings. Buddha Nature is something we are born with but lose sight of as society covers it with misconceptions, beliefs, myths, and fear.
Who did you want to be when you were a child? Before your family, friends, and your culture told you what to be? The photo above is me playing with Andy circa 1993.
Over the last couple months, I have dealt with old emotional wounds that lay deep inside me from childhood. It wasn’t easy but was much needed for my emotional health and to be at peace. In this difficult & turbulent time period, I also awakened to my inner child inside of me. I started remembering who I was at that time period and who I wanted to be as an adult.
As a small child, I remember envisioning myself to be a kind, strong, healthy, and compassionate adult who helped others. I idolized police officers, firemen, sports athletes, and ninjas for their strength, humility, and bravery. They were peaceful warriors to me who showed strength and compassion. Superheroes like Spiderman, Superman, and Batman emphasized strength, compassion, and humility. They protected the most vulnerable.
As a small child, I remember loving animals so much. I loved all different types of animals with full-hearted compassion. I never would want to hurt another life form. I still remember the day my parents told me what beef was and I was horrified that a cow died and that the juice was cows blood. The day I found out about factory farming was a traumatic experience. I couldn’t believe such a barbaric, inhumane, and unethical institution was allowed. I didn’t realize I could become a vegan to protect the most vulnerable until I was an adult. I suppressed this traumatic experience and continued to eat meat for the next 15 years. This post isn’t all about veganism but veganism is what sparked my transformation into diving deep into my inner child. By showing the most vulnerable (animals) true compassion by my actions I started the process of showing true compassion to myself, others, and the environment. Our true nature as children is to love animals. Society tries to turn that compassion into apathy and we are forced to accept that we have no control over the horrible things happening in the world.
Somewhere in my teens, I lost most of this inner child and I suffered tremendously for it.
I used to smile constantly, dance, be silly, and loved helping others. Around 10 years old, kids started making fun of me for smiling too much (smiley was my nickname) and adults (sports coaches) would shame me for smiling in serious situations. Soon I was taught that smiling, helping others, and being silly was feminine and weak. I started portraying myself more as a serious Mafioso than a fun loving child. My idols turned into Al Capone, Scarface, Charlie Sheen, Tupac, Lil Wayne, and Eminem. I suddenly didn’t smile much anymore, only grind danced, and didn’t help others because no one is helping me. I started not to give a f$%# about anymore, including myself. Eventually, this attitude led me down the path of infidelity, substance abuse, gambling addiction, and anxiety/depression. My inner child was buried under years of fear, judgment, hatred, and myths of masculinity.
As I awaken my inner-child, I feel more inner strength and confidence than I have ever felt before. I have smiled more in the last two months than the past 5 years. I have laughed, joked, and shown love to others. I feel more at peace with myself than I have ever felt. I have finally started my journey as a Peaceful Warrior. My weapons are compassion, empathy, love, and forgiveness. I will never have the strength of Superman or the Ninja Turtles, but I can show compassion and humility to the most vulnerable as they did.
Get back to what you loved to do as a child. Figure out what motivated you and made you happy. Be silly, smile, dance, laugh, and enjoy the simple things in life again. Be curious about the world again. Let go of the stories that hold you back from achieving peace, freedom, and enjoyment in life.
With Aloha,
Johnny Hoffman
Happiness is something to become, not to acquire.
I used to think happiness was something to achieve or acquire. I would think “once I get that promotion, lose weight or graduate from college I will achieve happiness”. I achieved all of these things and found out that I was still unhappy with my life. Happiness was always around the next corner. The next promotion, weight loss, or achievement. Sure, I was very happy the month after I graduated from college, lost weight, and got a promotion within my corporate job on the mainland. This happiness was very short-lived because I wasn’t content with who I was as a person. I was holding onto years of emotional baggage, insecurities, fears, and stories of the past. Stories that only spoke of half-truths, more focused on the negative than the positive. I have learned in the last year that happiness is not something to achieve but something to become through our actions in the world. Happiness is getting out of your comfort zone. Long lasting happiness for me is living in line with my core values instead of what feels good or is more comfortable at the moment. True contentment for me is spending more time on what I’m truly passionate about and less time focused on wealth and status. Through living in line with my values, I have felt more joy than I have ever thought was possible.
Happiness is always an inside job. Your job, relationships, money, and material goods are just “icing on the cake!”. You want to make your cake(life) as delicious(happy) just the way it is. No amount of material goods, fast food, drugs, alcohol, or sex will bring long-lasting peace. These are just fillers that mask true happiness and leave us craving more and more until we feel sick inside.
This lesson was truly learned when I moved to Maui last year. I thought going to beach, hiking, and living on Maui would make my life cherry (Local slang for good). I was still not happy and I couldn’t figure why! I had to look myself in the mirror and slowly start to live in line with my values. It hasn’t been easy, but nothing great comes out of being comfortable all the time. By inquiring within, I have shown compassion, forgiveness, and love to myself. By letting go of what was causing me mental stress, I have become more peaceful.
I suggest writing down your core values on a piece of paper or word document. Next, write down what you do all day and cross-reference your values with your actions. You choose your values and you choose to live in line with them. No one is forcing you to live more intentionally other than yourself! Here are my core values and what I let go of(or added) to live inline with my values
Peace- Coffee, Sales job, unlimited data on my phone.
Compassion-Meat, dairy, eggs, and plastic water bottles.
Love- Self-hatred, and judgments.
Contribution-Started a charity:water campaign(https://my.charitywater.org/jonathan-hoffman-1/clean-water-for-all)
Health-Cigarettes, alcohol, processed foods, oils.
I don’t feel deprived at all! I drink green tea, kombucha, and eat healthy anti-oxidant rich plant foods! These are just trade-offs for a more peaceful, healthy, and happy life for myself. Everyone’s journey is different, there are no right or wrong paths but only different ones!
What are you willing to let go of to be at peace? Choose love over fear and you will find that you will be living a life you love instead of a life you fear.
Inquire within.
With Aloha,
Johnny Hoffman
The path of the peaceful warrior is one of infinite strength. The human heart has an infinite amount of compassion. The Art of Peace is a direct response to the Art of War. If we believe war is always inevitable then there will always be war. The Art of Peace allows the opportunity for another path. The path of peace.
Sadly, we mistake physical strength for emotional strength.
Many believe strength comes from rage, anger, and hatred. True strength comes from mercy, compassion, and love. When someone is hateful, they are in a weak state. They are tense, frightened, and fearful. When we are compassionate, we are loose and free flowing like a strong rivers current. We must show others another way. Not judge or hurt our opponent but to show pure compassion towards them as well.
The peaceful warrior trains his mind, body, and spirit. Eating a whole food plant-based diet trains all three of these. A peaceful warrior does not create more suffering into the world that is unnecessary. By being alive, we will cause suffering but we can do our best to not add more on top of this. There is true strength in showing mercy to innocent animals. We build our body strong through eating this way. It will give us the energy to strengthen our body, mind, and spirit right now and into old age. It will strengthen our muscle of compassion. It will strengthen our message of peace. How can we believe in peace and contribute to animal cruelty, torture, and suffering? This is not the way of the peaceful warrior. Our actions must be inline with peace. Peace is the way.
When my opponent shows apathy, I vow to show compassion.
When my opponent shows hatred, I vow to show love.
When my opponent shows war, I vow to show peace.
When
With Peace,
Johnny Hoffman
The Narrow Path 